G-ism

I love being a mama. I know I've said it before, but I really do. I love not knowing what the next thing that is going to come out of my children's mouths will be. So... G had some doozies this weekend. Here are a couple:

Last Friday night, families waiting for their Soldiers to return gathered at Gatti's Pizza to socialize. The last week of "They're coming", "They're delayed", "They're coming", "They're delayed", etc... was rough on us all.

So, we were sitting, eating, chatting, etc. A friend of mine came over and was asking if we were excited (duh?) that Rob was coming home. G said... mom's excited because she can lay on daddy!

WHAT?!? Huh? I just looked at her. Looked back at my friend.

My friend started snickering. Again, I looked at G. She came back with, "what? You do lay on him when he won't move over on the couch."

Clarify, G, clarify.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Next... yesterday, Bones had gas. Pretty rough, smelly gas. My poor, lactose-intolerant baby boy.

G came into the living room from her room (followed by Bones) with her nose pinched. She said:

"Mom, he sliced a piece of cheese"

Silence.

me: What?

G: You know, that's what some people say when you toot: Slice a piece of cheese.

Silence. Then absolute hysterics from me and Rob.

Cut the cheese, baby. The saying is CUT the cheese.

Oh. Isn't it the same?

G-ism

Mom and Dad are here in Kentucky with me during most of the kids' Spring Break. It has been wonderful to have help -- and adult conversation!

Well, one of the things that my kids have done almost every night is -- put lotion on our feet and give foot massages. G is the resident foot masseuse, but F wanted to do something too... So she gave facials.

Wonderful. Wonderful. Wonderful.

Tonight rolls around and G asked if she could give me a foot-cial. Like a facial... but with your foot. Clever.

Trip -isms and Tonight's Thanks

First, the isms :-)

*We were driving through the mountains of Tennessee last night and my ears stopped up -- you know -- got all stuffy from the change in altitude. As I was trying to pop them, I looked back and saw Faith holding her nose. I knew exactly what she was doing, as we had talked about it just a few days earlier. What was she doing? She calls it "getting the air out of her ears" -- makes sense to me :-)

*Around midnight, I decided to keep driving and push through to mom's house (instead of stopping for the night). The kiddos were all asleep -- until all of a sudden, Faith started crying. Since this was no where near our first road trip, I knew exactly what was wrong. She said her foot was vibrating. Her foot was asleep :-)

*Once we got to mom's, we rested and the kids woke up bright and early to explore the territory of mom and dad's. It has been 6 months since we've been in NC, so everything was relatively new. We quickly found ourselves outside, playing. Grace couldn't believe that at mamaw's house, it rains straw! (The pine needles are falling from the trees). Josh was chasing the golf balls that granddaddy let him hit -- but he didn't have shoes on, so he would only follow them on the grass. Well, I hit one a little too hard and it landed in the pinestraw near a tree. He came running back to borrow my flip flops -- saying he couldn't walk 'over there' because there were 'pinecorns' all over the place!

Thanks--
1- I am so thankful to be in NC and not have to make that drive again for 2 weeks!

2- I got to nap today -- and didn't have to worry about where my children were or what they were doing!

3- That nap... I got to snuggle up with Holly for it :-)

4- I am excited about doing Komen in the morning with the girls. I really hope to not be carrying them by the end :-p

5- The blueberries on dad's bushes are almost ripe! Looks like we will be eating them before we go home :-)

Our Poultry dinner

So, my friend Rebecca gave me a great recipe for an Italian salad. We love it in our house. It has chick peas, cherry tomatoes, sun-dried tomoatoes, cauliflower, green beans and green olives marinated in Italian dressing. Delicious. Well, I made it the other night -- along with some couscous for me. I didn't think the kids would like the couscous, so they had something different.

When we were in Disney, we ate at one of the character lunches. It was a buffet (which I am normally NOT a fan of) and I ate my fill of one of their dishes -- a couscous salad. It was served at room temperature and had tomatoes, cucumber, and Italian herbs in the couscous. Delicious.

Back to our house -- I decided I wanted to try putting my two things together. I put some of the Italian salad in my couscous. Delicious.

I never thought the kids would want some, but they did! Josh couldn't get enough. This is how our conversation went:

Josh: Mama, can I have some more?

Me: Sure. What do you want?

Josh: Some of that {{Pointing}}

Me: What is it?

Josh: Mama {showing frustrations}-- I want some chicken peas. Some chicken peas and some goose goose.

Clarification and Bubbaism

The home phone issue... it isn't that I am going to need it so I can to talk with Rob. He will ALWAYS call my cell phone, just in case I am not home. I need something to talk with the spouses through the deployment. There are times when I talk for over an hour with some people. It is only a week into the deployment and we already are hungry for adult conversation :-) I wish that I could look forward to long conversations with Rob. I am happy to get the 3-5 minutes that I do get! And all that will change when they leave their current location! There is no telling how long we will go between phone calls -- ugh -- I don't want to think about that now :-)

I think I may just change from my T-mobile to AT&T when our contract runs up in September. AT&T has an unlimited calls, texts, etc for only $99.99 a month. What about the MagicJack... anybody use that?

Bubbaism --

Tonight, I told Josh that he couldn't have a cup of water in the living room.

Me: Josh, come back. You can have your water in the kitchen or the dining room.

Josh: Oh. Here (hands the cup to me, standing in the kitchen. I turn to walk further into the kitchen and he says) Where are you putting it? In the diamond room?

He thought I said diamond room, not dining room :-) Tonight when he was going to bed, he wanted to take a cup of water to his room. I took it back out as I left his room and told him it would be in the diamond room when he needed it.

isms

Graceism

We were watching the Kentucky/ECU game the other night and Gracie came in.

G- Do we go for Kentucky?

me- No, the other team.

G (looks again at the tv) - Why do we go for E car?

Bubbaism

Faith got a plastic cake decorating kit with her Christmas gift card. The three big kids were decorating slices and bringing them in to us on plastic plates with plastic forks. Well, Bubba has a big of an issue with the *r* in fork. It comes out sounding like a not so nice word ;-) So I was trying to get him to correct it.

me- Listen. This is a (speaking slowly and emphasizing the r) FF-OR-K

Bub- Fork (said correctly).

me- good job

Bub- See this? (holding up a piece of cake on a plate) This is CCAAAAKKE on a PPLLLAAAATTE (speaking just as slowly as I did to him)

Faithism

Scene -- Last night the whole family went to Brandenburg to a Hail and Farewell. It was in a sort of old school type diner joint. Pretty neat. Had some retro stuff on the wall. The room that we sat in had records on the wall and ceiling -- old 45s and the big ones too (though I had to look those up because I can't remember what they are called -- 33-1/3s?). Well there was a clock made out of the big one... Faith was sitting on our friend Gina's lap during this interaction --

Faith - Look at that clock made out of a big CD

Gina - It isn't a CD, it is a record.

Gina then tried to explain that you put it on a record player and put the needle down and it would play music.

Faith - OH... I know what you are talking about.

Gina - You do? Good!

Faith - Yeah, I saw one on the Flintstones.

Hmmm... how old am I?!?

Egg Tectonics

Oh... I remembered -- Faithism

Today we were watching the Science Channel. The show Understanding: Volcanoes, to be precise (not new -- it was OnDemand). I know, we are geeks, but Faith has an interest since this is 'V' week at school and you knowI love it. Anyway... the show was explaining plate tectonics using a hardboiled egg as a visual. The yolk is the core, white is mantle, shell is crust. But they were talking about volcanoes and how (back in the day) there was confusion about how the volcano seemed to move until scientists realized that the egg was cracked (plates and plate tectonics). Faith looked at me --

F: Mama, I know how the earth was made

me: you do? How?

F: It started as an egg and then it grew up.

Maybe the egg visual was effective, but not very clear -- at least not to the 4 year old audience. But I guess there probably aren't TOO many 4 year olds watching :-p

Bubbaism -- post #3 of the day :-)

So, I have started a new program with Bubba at home. Since he is not going to a preschool this year, I feel like I need to do something to get him ahead. I did an internet search and found a homeschool preschool program that is pretty easy and is only done in small batches (we do three 10-minute sections throughout the day to keep his interest).

Anyway, one of the things we do all week is learn a nursery rhyme (one a week). This week's is Hey Diddle Diddle. He is doing great at learning it (since this may be the first time he'd heard it) *except* he doesn't know what a fiddle is -- he says "the cat and the skittles"

Graceism

Yesterday morning, Grace woke up and RAN into my room yelling that we had all overslept. I knew that we hadn't, since I was up feeding Sam and watching the Weather Channel. I tried to explain that she was mistaken but she wanted nothing to do with my explanation. She said we MUST have overslept because "why does it look like that outside?"

Look like what?

It was light out. Last week, when it was time to get on the bus, it was still dark. I didn't talk to the kids about Daylight Savings Time, I just changed the clocks. Honestly, I don't know what to say about it. She was SO confused as to why I changed time. I started to tell her about the whole history (or what i know of it), but decided that it may be a little over her.

WARNING***CRUDE****Bubba-ism

I am proud to report that Bubba is officially potty trained (still needs a pull up at night, but completely accident free for 10 days now).

He still wants me to be in the bathroom with him. Today, he was pooping (I warned you) and talking when he got pretty quiet. I wasn't looking at him and asked him what was the matter. He said (CRUDE WARNING) "Nothing is the matter. The poop just fell out of my butt."

How do parents not laugh? I had to turn away from him so he didn't think I was laughing at him.

The best Bubba-ism to date

The boys and I went to Walmart this morning to get some bread (darn that commissary being closed on Mondays). As usual, I found myself in the craft section - just looking. Well, I needed some straight pins (since I have actually started using my sewing machine and the ones I have are .. well... not straight) so we went to the quilting aisle. There were those HUGE packs of batting and foam on the aisle too. Bubba picked up a pack of foam and asked me what it was. Here is what I THOUGHT was being said:

Bubba: Mom, what is this?

Me: It is foam. Please put it back.

Bubba: This is foam?

Me: Yes, foam. Put it back

Bubba: Big foam?

Me: Yes, it is big foam. Put it back.

Bubba (picking the pack up and putting his head on it): Hello? This is Josh.

***He thought I was saying PHONE!! I just about wet my pants!

Bubba's newest adventure

Well, I can at least say that Bubba waited until he was almost 3 before he stuck something up his nose. He came out of the girls' room, crying saying his nose hurt. I looked right at him and KNEW! I asked if he had something in his nose.

Him -"Yep"
Me - what is it?
Him - a bead

That is right... a bead. Rob and I tried to get the bead out, but it wouldn't budge. We tried to get him to blow his nose, but he tends to suck air in instead of blowing out. Nothing. Finally we tried having him smell pepper to make him sneeze. Nothing. We decided to watch him (he seemed fine and wasn't panicing or anything) but Rob would take him to the ER if it hadn't come out after a while.

Bubba was sitting on the couch, eating his PB&J when he SNEEZED!! I looked over at him and saw the bead hanging out of his nose as he is starting to suck his breath in! AGH! I ran over and got the bead. I think he learned his lesson since his nose hurt pretty bad afterwards.


Mining for gems...



Examining the evidence after it came out :-p

Faithism

*slightly vulgar*

When Rob got home on Monday, Faith couldn't wait to tell him about the *big* event that occurred that day...

Faith: Daddy, Daddy. Guess what exciting thing happened today?!?

R: I don't know. What happened?

Faith: Sam's belly button fell off. He'll be able to take a bath now.

R: Oh. That IS exciting.

Faith: Yep, and tomorrow -- his penis is going to fall off.

*NOTE: Sam had a different type of circumcision than Josh... this kind had a plastic ring that actually stayed on him and would fall off as the circumcision healed. I guess I should have explained a little better that only that piece of plastic was going to fall off! (I wouldn't recommend looking at that website unless you are prepared -- yuck!)

Bubba-ism... sort of

I just about peed my pants tonight. And it really didn't have anything to do with the baby doing push ups on my bladder. I was laying on the couch while the kids were playing, semi-quietly (which should have been my first clue as to something sinister going on). I heard Bubba getting a little frustrated and then the girls led him into the living room. He had a potty seat (one of the little kid ones that he refused to use) around his neck like a necklace. Now that was funny... but he couldn't get it off. He scrunched his face up and pushed the seat up (always pushing crooked... when he pushed it evenly, it easily came off). He tried SO hard. I tried SO hard to get to the camera. By the time I did get the camera on... and a memory card in it... he had figured it out. But then he wore it on top of his head... like this...

Faithism

this is from a couple of weeks ago, but Rob and I started talking about it again today and I realized I hadn't written it down. These are the things that you can't make up... and don't want to forget :-)

Picture it -- the whole family at the Louisville Zoo, trying to find the ring-tailed lemurs in their enclosure.

Rob (a few yards in front of us, pointing at a rock): Look, there is one.

me: I don't see it. I see a chipmunk, though.

*a tiny little chipmunk was jumping back and forth between two rocks* of course, this is what the girls see too...

Faith: I see it, I see it. There is the mipchunk.

They will forever be mipchunks in our house :-)

Robism - defender of his daughter

Okay... this is even funnier than the Graceism of the other day.

I was explaining to Rob the Jupiter comment that Grace had, since he can't check non-official sites at work so can't read my blog (plus he doesn't really get on the computer at home). So, anyway... defensive daddy comes out in Rob.

Rob: If you think about it, she's right.

me: WHAT?!?

Rob: Well, everything she knows about the solar system (which isn't much at this point) has been seen on a model. Think about a model of the solar system. Jupiter is the largest planet.

me: But that is a model, and isn't the planet on earth.

Rob: But does Grace know that?!

Graceism

Grace loves pretending to be a teacher... and her little sister and brother are *usually* willing participants. Today, she is giving a lesson on the planets...

Grace: Everybody say Jupiter

F&J: JOOPITER

Grace: Correct. Jupiter is the largest planet on Earth.

HUH?!?

Grace-isms

There are two today...

**Grace was writing "Happy Birthday" in the card that she made for her granddaddy... but I was a 'mean' mom and made her sound it out. I wouldn't tell her how to spell birthday.

She thought it was "Birt-day" she didn't know that the word is birth. TOO funny. She did figure it out, but it was very funny until I sounded it out for her :-)

**Rob has gotten into the habit of fixing the girls root beer floats as a special dessert after dinner -- if they have been good (very subjective interpretation of 'good' has been used lately). Anyway, Grace was begging for one tonight... but she thought they were called "flows". She kept asking for a flow. We didn't understand until she put the root beer in front of it :-p

-isms for yesterday

I have some funny kids :-)

Graceism:

As with all military units, we have certain dinners that we have to go to monthly. Last night we had a Hail & Farewell. So as we rushed home from gymnastics (at 1730) to get the girls' clothes changed so we could be at this H&F at 1800, I explained to the kids:

me: We are going to eat Mexican with some people from daddy's work.

Faith: We are going to eat at Daddy's work?

Grace: No, we are going to eat with daddy's unik (pronounced eunuch :-))

Somehow, I don't think R's boss would like being called a eunuch.


Bubbaism:

Bubba has started pulling all sorts of tricks to get me to come into his room after he has been put to bed -- mainly because he knows that if HE gets up he will be in big trouble. Last night was no different.

Bubba (from his room): MAMAAAAAAA

me (walking towards his room with a cup of water for him): I am coming with your water.

Bubba (with such sadness in his voice): Mama, I broke my shorts.

me: You did what?

Bubba: I broke my shorts. It was an accident.

me (while pulling back his covers to see what he was fidgeting with): How did you break your shorts?

Bubba: See?

*He shows me the side of his shorts which have a "V" shaped cut in the leg like this...


me (trying not to laugh): they are supposed to be like that

Bubba: no, they are not. They are supposed to be like this

*he holds the two pieces together

me (giving him his water): They are fine. We'll look at them in the morning. You did not break them.

Bubba: okay